she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize