Someone shit on the floor
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
please come you make the beer taste better
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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