TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
