Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
