I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
