barbara walters just said penis...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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