totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
