So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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