i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
