I wanna passion pit in your ass
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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