Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
