Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
