i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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