Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
