He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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