Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
