I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
how drunk are you?
Several
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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