I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
