I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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