on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
