So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
