Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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