he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I am one with the molecules
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
