no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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