In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
