remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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