If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
