things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
