Pants 0. Shit 1.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
