drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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