You're so nebulous sometimes
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
