That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
