she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
