i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Alive.
So much puke
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
