I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
