i just had sex bonerless
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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