mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
