you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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