Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
whose ass print is on the piano?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
