do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
