I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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