In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
