Apparently you make a good broom.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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