Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Duck Duck Cougar?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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