alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
