I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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