there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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