If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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