you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
