so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
