Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
