It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
