I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
wow bdsm is so cute
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