i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
