Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
