1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
