watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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