Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
