if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
