this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
