Your mouth is God's brothel.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
