Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
