I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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