Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
